Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Ships

I became infuriated recently after seeing a clip of professional Mythbuster and nerd king Adam Savage responding–amidst many others–to the question “Who would win in a fight: the Millennium Falcon or the starship Enterprise?” I wasn’t particularly upset by his answer; at face value the Enterprise is certainly a more strategically capable vessel. What bothered me was Savage’s scoffing at the question. Yes, the question seems meaningless even among nerds who accept that the ships work on entirely different technologies, scales, and aren’t even in the same class of vehicle. But Adam was so dismissive about the question from the “numbers involved” that it seemed ridiculous to bother investigating. Sir, that is precisely the bread and butter you spread up it.

So I began researching. I started jotting down particular specs and methods by which to equate them. I’m surprised but not even embarrassed by how much data I was able to pull just from my personal bookshelf. The greatest difficulty in this matter is in fact the truth that the Millennium Falcon is a (highly modified) light freighter, and the Enterprise is a military flagship. It would make more sense to compare the Enterprise to, say, a Star Destroyer than a small shipping vessel.

5½ Requirements to Not F@#% Up Star Wars: The Force Awakens

With the premiere of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awaken's second teaser trailer, I have once again failed to temper the rambunctious joy and hope that riles beneath my cultivated cold and collected nerd exterior.

I squealed. I squealed like a child. I tried not to, but then I thought back to seeing Episode I for the first time, the only time I've been able to see a Star Wars premier and really not know what I was getting into. Secrecy has not been a part of Star Wars debuts to this extent since George Lucas dressed his crew in "Blue Harvest" caps and gear while filming in Tunisia. I imagined watching a ship I have never seen of read about fly across the screen for the first time, and I squealed, alone, in my car, and feared that somehow other drivers still heard me.

J.J. Abrams, please don't hurt me.

It's very simple. There are only a few things you need to do for me to accept this as a valid Star Wars movie. I'll give it it's own separate canon, call it "Disney Wars" or whatever, I really don't mind. I've gone through most of the stages of nerd grief. Fulfill the following obligations and your odds of successfully becoming a part of a "nonology" will be approximately 3,720:1.