Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Ships

I became infuriated recently after seeing a clip of professional Mythbuster and nerd king Adam Savage responding–amidst many others–to the question “Who would win in a fight: the Millennium Falcon or the starship Enterprise?” I wasn’t particularly upset by his answer; at face value the Enterprise is certainly a more strategically capable vessel. What bothered me was Savage’s scoffing at the question. Yes, the question seems meaningless even among nerds who accept that the ships work on entirely different technologies, scales, and aren’t even in the same class of vehicle. But Adam was so dismissive about the question from the “numbers involved” that it seemed ridiculous to bother investigating. Sir, that is precisely the bread and butter you spread up it.

So I began researching. I started jotting down particular specs and methods by which to equate them. I’m surprised but not even embarrassed by how much data I was able to pull just from my personal bookshelf. The greatest difficulty in this matter is in fact the truth that the Millennium Falcon is a (highly modified) light freighter, and the Enterprise is a military flagship. It would make more sense to compare the Enterprise to, say, a Star Destroyer than a small shipping vessel.

How 'Big' is the 'Game of Thrones' World?

Let me be clear: I am in no way questioning the size of its fanbase or the sprawling narrative that is A Song of Ice and Fire." I am not the type of nerd to belittle any particular fandom or its accomplishments, even those to which I don't personally belong. No, I'm the type of nerd who needs to functionally quantify how those worlds work until I am either sufficiently assuaged or beaten by those next to me into a light coma.

When I ask, "How big is the Game of Thrones world?" I'm asking if the continents we've seen make up the bulk or simply a small fraction of their world's landmasses. I'm asking if, like James Cameron's Pandora, the planet is physically smaller than Earth and–having a potentially lower mass–the gravity is weak enough to allow large reptiles to grow in an oxygen-rich atmosphere and ascend to the skies on leathery wings. Does rain fall less forcefully? Are the blows from the executioner's blade less powerful? How high would Ned Stark's skull bounce? More pressing, narratively, is there an entire world of events happening outside the scope of this franchise waiting to be mined for ideas? Other civilizations at different technological levels inhabiting the same celestial sphere?

Writers Confirm Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy Romantically Polyamorous, Free World Doesn't Collapse

During a recent live chat over the official DC Comics Twitter account, Harley Quinn writers Amanda Conner and Jim Palmiotti confirmed the canonicity of Harley and Poison Ivy's long-suspected romantic relationship in the pre-New 52 continuity.

"Doctor Who's on First"

Barnes & Noble is about to start it's second annual "Get Pop Cultured" event this July. Among other events, the kick-off is going to be a "Throwback Thursdays" series beginning on July 2nd (1950s first) and Time Travel Weekend Friday through Monday. Friday the third specifically is "Doctor Who Day," featuring trivia events and giveaways, TARDIS standees and photo ops, and costumes.

And if I have my way, the following two-player sketch.

Superman is Actually the Bad Guy

Injustice: Gods Among Us; Year Two, Part Two

You know you've made it when your nickname alone becomes synonymous with you and no one other. While Kleenex, Q-Tip, or Band-Aid might be used to describe themselves or their generic forms, “The Dark Knight” and “The Man of Steel” refer back to Batman and Superman exclusively. John Henry be damned, Kal-El of Krypton is the Man of Steel. Forget the Black Knight, Batman owns the dark title.^[1]

There are other titles, of course. Ra’s al-Ghoul was fond of calling Batman “Detective,” valuing his formidable mind over the brawling and fear-based tactics that sent petty criminals reeling. Detective Harvey Bullock and several villains favored the diminutive “Bats,” and certainly no one for several decades has been born “Bruce Wayne” by accident. Ra’s’ daughter Talia never called him anything other than “Beloved.” Likewise, “Supes” has been tossed around by his friends and, though it has fallen out of use, Superman has had one other nickname: “Big Blue.”

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Assholes

We all find something at least a little envious in the lives of wealthy tech moguls, powerful executives, or famous celebrities. The freedom to do as we please with confidence is an appealing prospect. As exemplified by a great number of these people, there is a basic tenant we can follow to ensure some modicum of this lifestyle in our own day-to-day affairs:

Be an asshole.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Assholes

5½ Requirements to Not F@#% Up Star Wars: The Force Awakens

With the premiere of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awaken's second teaser trailer, I have once again failed to temper the rambunctious joy and hope that riles beneath my cultivated cold and collected nerd exterior.

I squealed. I squealed like a child. I tried not to, but then I thought back to seeing Episode I for the first time, the only time I've been able to see a Star Wars premier and really not know what I was getting into. Secrecy has not been a part of Star Wars debuts to this extent since George Lucas dressed his crew in "Blue Harvest" caps and gear while filming in Tunisia. I imagined watching a ship I have never seen of read about fly across the screen for the first time, and I squealed, alone, in my car, and feared that somehow other drivers still heard me.

J.J. Abrams, please don't hurt me.

It's very simple. There are only a few things you need to do for me to accept this as a valid Star Wars movie. I'll give it it's own separate canon, call it "Disney Wars" or whatever, I really don't mind. I've gone through most of the stages of nerd grief. Fulfill the following obligations and your odds of successfully becoming a part of a "nonology" will be approximately 3,720:1.