Friday, April 15, 2016

All the Best George Foremans, Ranked

  1. George Foreman
    World Heavyweight champion, entrepreneur–and fellow "George" enthusiast–George is the quintessence of what it means to be a George Foreman. Utterly. That said, I did considered bumping him to the #2 slot as his grill is a complete bitch to clean.

  2. George Foreman III
    A boxer like his father, George III "Monk" Foreman finished his heavyweight career 16-0. Sixteen-and-oh. Fifteen of those? K.O.s. The sixteenth? Unanimous decision. That's a hell of a record. Basically, he's George 2.0, which makes George III my George #2.

  3. Georgetta Foreman
    Georgetta is a television producer. She spent ten years on Divorce Court and the last five on Let's Make a Deal, all following her stint on the six-episode Foreman family reality series Family Foreman. Heck yeah.

  4. George Foreman Jr.
    Parlayed his father's grill empire into a successful business career for himself, despite "never [taking] math in college." Neither did I, Jr. Neither did I.

  5. George Foreman IV "Big Wheel"
    Publicist for the Foreman clan. He also manages the George Foreman Youth Center in Houston, TX where he teaches boxing to kids. He is by far the best looking of the Georges.

  6. George Foreman VI "Little Joey"
    I mean damn if this kid wasn't George Prime's Mini Me. If someone were casting for the Foreman Kids Mysteries, Joey'd have my vote for the role of George. (Shut up, I know that's not how casting works.)

  7. George Foreman V "Red"
    I lied. George V is the looker of the family. However he was also arrested in 2014 for choking his wife. This makes him the undisputed worst George Foreman ever. Didn't mean to end on such a reprehensible down note. I'm … starting to think this list should have been a countdown.

 Let's just remember the happier days.

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